What does the movie Hesher and the movie Premium Rush have in common? They both star Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who from here on out will be referred to as JGL. Let’s take a look at the Hesher Trailer, and believe me when I say this relates to movies about bike messengers.

Here is the problem. In Premium Rush JGL is this pretty boy bicycle messenger. How many messengers do you know that look like this?

Looks more like Lance Armstrong than a messenger. No offense Lance.

Now let’s look at JGL character in Hesher.

Now this is more what a messenger looks like.

And it’s not just the character roll. It’s the action sequences too. First let’s look at a scene from Premium Rush.

Flying through the air in Premium Rush

Here is JGL character in Premium Rush flying through the air after being hit by a car. What’s wrong with this picture? First, he’s not even looking back at his bike. All a messenger cares about is his bike. He would naturally be looking back to see what is happening to his bike. Second, he has a helmet on. All messengers know you never have accidents when you were your helmet. It’s always when you say to yourself, “It’s to hot, I don’t want to wear my helmet.” That’s the day you get creamed by a car. Back to Hesher.

A REAL day in the life of a messenger

Now this is what’s it’s like to be a messenger. No shirt leap from a diving board on fire while wearing your jeans. That’s more like something that could happen, or has happened, to many messengers. Do I even need to explain it? I think not. So you can see the directors, or casting agents really botched this one up.

Just wait until I go into more about smashing cab mirrors with your bike lock in my next blog!

Let's tango.